This is my 20th post, so another milestone in the career of a newly fledged blogger. I’ve gone for the title ‘The physical laws of education or the power of 10 commandments’ as I wanted to stimulate and be provocative. Of course, I don’t believe a word of it …
Law the first
(If thou becomest Education Minister) Thou shalt continually remind educators that they are never good enough, especially for thine own children.
Law the second
Thou shalt ensure that females are turned off the study of physics for life by presenting it as a girlie subject that can be done using pink utensils and produces pretty, flowery things on a par with the latest fashion accessories.
Law the third
Thou shalt ****** up the National Curriculum (but it doesn’t really matter as no-one will ever use it to teach).
Law the fourth
Thou shalt test, then test, and test a bit more. After a short break thou shalt then examine, assess and generally contrive to push all idea of enjoyment out of the classroom. Knowledge is power.
Law the fifth
Thou shalt make up invented words and inspect whether children can pronounce them properly. No, this isn’t the same as learning Esperanto, but saying that, perhaps we should make that compulsory?
Law the sixth
Thou shalt pay due respect to thine elders by knowing that they are better qualified than thee having sat more rigorous exams, so be really nice to them and thou mayst not lose thy job in these hard times.
Law the seventh
On the xxxth day of Government thou shalt introduce ground-breaking educational reforms to prevent thine hardline colleagues from accusing thee of being politically wet and insipid. The xxx+4th day shall becometh thy last in Government ….
Law the eighth
There is no ‘law the eighth’ as this is both grammatically incorrect and the number 8 has been banished for looking too much like a double zero, which is what thou shalt turn out to be if thou doesn’t learn thy times tables properly.
Law the ninth
The name of an ancient king who belonged to a noble civilisation which we are all striving to return to (by making sure it appears in the History curriculum).
Law the tenth
The power of ten is the ease with which the Prime Minister can make his or her ministers do what he or she wants, so no actual law is required and in fact one is broken (a law of physics) by turning back the clock to the rose tinted era of days gone by, when those who deserved a good education got a place at Oxbridge and then at the Cabinet table, while those who didn’t were at least allowed to vote. Hang on, things haven’t changed actually …..